Hiya
I remember when I first realized I could distract myself by keeping stupendously busy. It was spring of 2004. I was taking 18 hours of classes, helping plan the first FWA, and serving as an officer in the fraternity.
I had no time to feel sad or angry because I always had something to do. Of course I didn’t realize that at the time. I just did it. The more shit I threw myself into, the less I felt. Rather effective coping strategy … for dealing with massive internalized self-hatred.
I have existed like that for 19 long years.
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